Animals behaving badly, other people's misfortunes and the most bizarre true crime story ever. French Fried is the unfortunately true account of Chris Dolley’s first eight months in France and has been described as ‘A Year in Provence with Miss Marple and Gerald Durrell.’
Moving house with three cats, two horses and an enormous puppy is fraught at the best of times. But during a storm? Within ten minutes of Chris and Shelagh landing in France a gust of wind rips the roof off their horse transporter and they and their animals are left on a cliff top while a replacement horsebox is sent for from England. From then on it gets worse.
Their new home has no heating or hot water. The plumber prefers to use the outside wall rather than any of the five toilets dotted around the house. The police place their car under house arrest. Their animals cause mayhem. Chris causes mayhem.
And then, just when they think nothing more could possibly go wrong, they discover that Chris’s identity has been stolen and their life savings – all the money from their house sale in England that was going to finance their new life in France – had disappeared. A bank account had been opened in Chris’s name in Spain to take the proceeds.
Then they’re abandoned by the police forces of four countries who all insist the crime belongs in someone else's jurisdiction. The French say it’s an Irish crime as that’s where the money was held. The Irish say it’s French as that’s where all the correspondence came from. The British say it’s nothing to do with them even though forged British passports were used to open the bank account in Spain. And the Spanish are on holiday – and can’t even think about investigating any bank account for at least four weeks.
So Chris has to solve the crime himself. But unlike fictional detectives he has an 80 year-old mother-in-law and an excitable puppy who insist they come along if he's going anywhere interesting - like a stakeout.
In an uncertain world there is one organisation that stands head and small furry shoulders above the rest. Whenever the planet is in danger – be it from giant balls of wool or bands of renegade squirrels – only one group is guaranteed to answer the call.
The International Kittens of Mystery!
This is a journal of their stories. For the first time, cameras have been allowed into one of their top secret training camps – Training Camp Alpha. A camp where, under the supervision of pet humans, recruits are shown not only how to save the world but also how to manage their secret identities – how to blend in and infiltrate the human society that they alone can protect.
If you like a laugh and looking at cute pictures of kittens saving the planet, this is the book for you. It's a short read — about 25 minutes, if you can tear yourself away from the pictures.
“Suspense! Intrigue! Silly jokes!! And cute kittens. INTERNATIONAL KITTENS OF MYSTERY has it all. The secrets of training kittens to become international superspies. The gadgetry, the secret knowledge (the power of cute) the combat practice, the mice.
“If you don’t like cuteoverload.com or I can has Cheezburger/lolcats, this is not for you. If you know what those are I’m guessing you’re ready for the INTERNATIONAL KITTENS OF MYSTERY.
“It’s definitely one of the best thrillers of the year. It’s unputdownable... a brilliant peek into those secret places where they plot to save the world (from alien sheep?) (well, yeah,)” — Andi Schechter.
“IKM is a quick (30 minutes or so) but really fun read, with thrilling stories of kittens undergoing their training as well as using that training in real-life, dangerous situations. We were on the edge of our seats ... Those IKM kittehs are masters of disguises....and so darn cute. (That must be part of their disguise!) This is a must-read book for kittens and cats of all ages...woofies too!
“This ebook will work best on the computer or a color ebook reader because of the photos, but The Mommy read it to us using her 1st generation Kindle, which only shows black-and-white photos, and the photos showed up good enough on it to be able to enjoy them in that format, so don’t let that stop you.
“Twelve paws up from The Kitty Krew!” — The Kitty Krew.
Warning: this book contains 75 large color pictures, but some eReaders, those without color, will display them in black and white.
You can read the first 5 chapters of International Kittens of Mystery HERE.
For more information about Chris Dolley and his novels, visit his official website.